Top 10 Ways to Fail Your Open Water Test

10) Ask your instructor if your regulator "ain't one of those Argentine bolo things".

9) Tell your instructor you'll "race him to the surface."

8) Lie face down and motionless on the bottom while holding your breath.

7) Tell the instructor that you are planning to buy equipment at a competing shop's "killer sale" next week.

6) Loudly proclaim that safety stops are for wusses.

5) Strap a cardboard dorsal fin to your back and go around biting people in your class on the leg as they are ascending.

4) Show up with a set of tables based on your own algorithm "that's WAY better".

3) Spit in your wetsuit; pee in your mask.

2) Ask the instructor which fin goes on your left foot and which goes on the right.

1) Tell your instructor there's no way you can lift a tank that has 3000 pounds of air in it.