Top 10 Things Not to Say on a Dive Boat

10) "Can I keep this coral that your anchor broke off?"

9) "Buddy? Oh, did I go down with a buddy?"

8) "Can someone lend me a computer? Mine keeps flashing 'Deco Violation'?"

7) "I count seven, are you SURE there are eight names on the manifest?"

6) "Does anyone else smell smoke?"

5) "What do I do with this bucket of vomit?"

4) "Could you 'warm up' my wetsuit for me?"

3) "Macarena anyone?"

2) "Certification smertification!"

1) "Is that your mask under my tank?"