10) The Martians did not give free dive trips to editors of scuba diving magazines, so there were no endless, repetitive, boring articles about what a fabulous dive destination Mars is.

9) Yet to invent a BCD that will allow diver to escape earth's gravitational pull.

8) I can't find fins to fit my gravity boots.

7) 2000 lbs. of lead and I'm still floating?

6) NASA misdirected my gear to Venus.

5) Mask straps interfer with pointed Martian ears!

4) The nearest hyperbaric chamber is on Jupiter.

3) Red Tide!

2) Because there are no bars on Mars...

1) There are no male divers on Mars because all of the female divers are on Venus.