#4 He thinks Grand Turk is a hotel in Istanbul.squid_pro_quo of salem, Va.

#7 That rip on my BC? Shark attack.Morad Hassan of Savannah, Ga.

#3 It increases your risk of entanglement.

#3 Winter fitness regimen of rigorously watching "Baywatch" not as effective as planned.

#2 He keeps saying, "Nice bottom... uh, time."Ken Carter of New York, N.Y.

#2 Nothing but a hole at the bottom.Mike of Staten Island, N.Y.

#7 Getting narced is better than egg nog -- no calories and no hangover.

#6 Don't worry what those gauges say...you'll KNOW when you're out of air!

#1 Confess you never really got certified, you're just using a c-card you found while snorkeling.