10) It's been in the dryer.

9) I decided to put on some weight to keep me warmer while diving.

8) I wear a spare tire for extra buoyancy.

7) It's not just my wetsuit; ALL of my clothes have shrunk.

6) It fits...in places.

5) My wife is pregnant and the doctor says weight gain is normal.

4) It's not too tight, you just haven't been pulling hard enough on the damn zipper.

3) Winter fitness regimen of rigorously watching "Baywatch" not as effective as planned.

2) Darn, looks like I grabbed the wife's suit again.

1) It's amazing how much you puff up from a jellyfish sting.