10) You have to lend him weight so he can get under.

9) He keeps calling his scuba cylinder an "oxygen tank".

8) When he asks you to share air, he uses your snorkel.

7) He fills out a dive log entry for every pool session.

6) He plays victim in your rescue course, but he isn't playing.

5) He says, "Just yawn to decompress, like on an airplane".

4) He takes out his knife when you give the sign that you are out of air.

3) He suggests doing your last check-out dive right away--since your flight doesn't leave for another 2 hours.

2) His new dive computer is a Palm Pilot.

1) You ask him what he thinks about nitrox and he says, "Aaah, all that wrestling crap is fake"!